Indian Wedding: A Complete Guide to Traditions, Rituals, and Regional Customs

Ask any Indian about the last family wedding they attended and they will probably start with the food, the cousin who danced all night, or the aunt who checked everyone’s jewellery, before they get to the couple. There is a reason for that. An Indian wedding usually runs over three to five days and pulls in two entire families, their neighbours and friends. Below is what happens at each of the main ceremonies, what they mean, and how they change from Punjab to Kerala and from a mandap to a gurdwara.

What is a Hindu wedding, religiously speaking?

The Sanskrit word for marriage is vivaha. In the older Dharmashastra tradition it is a sacrament, one of the sixteen samskaras that mark the main stages of a person’s life, from birth rites to funeral rites. The ceremony takes place in front of a sacred fire, agni, into which offerings are made while a priest recites Vedic mantras.

The legal heart of it is the saptapadi, the seven steps the bride and groom take together. Under the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, where saptapadi is part of the customary rites, the marriage is complete when the seventh step is taken. Almost everything else in the week, from the songs to the shoe-stealing, is built around that one moment.

Pre-wedding ceremonies in an Indian wedding

The days before the main ceremony are usually the busiest, and the order of events depends a lot on the family and region. These are the most common.

Roka and sagai (engagement)

The roka or sagai formally announces that the two families have agreed to the match. Rings are often exchanged, and in many families this happens months ahead so there is time to book venues and caterers.

Mehendi

The mehendi is held one or two evenings before the wedding. The bride’s hands and feet are covered in fine henna patterns, and female friends and cousins get theirs done too, usually with music and food going on around them. An old saying goes that the darker the mehendi stains, the more the mother-in-law will love the bride.

Sangeet

The sangeet is a music and dance evening, normally the night before the wedding. Both families perform songs and dances they have rehearsed for weeks, often with one uncle who refuses to rehearse at all. Many modern weddings now merge the mehendi and sangeet into one evening.

Haldi

On the morning of the wedding, or the day before, the bride and groom are each covered with a paste of turmeric, sandalwood, curd and sometimes chickpea flour, separately and in their own homes. The paste is meant to purify them and give their skin a glow. In practice it usually ends with relatives smearing turmeric on each other as well.

The baraat and the welcome

On the wedding day the groom travels to the venue with the baraat, his procession of family and friends. He traditionally rides a decorated mare, though some communities use an elephant or a horse-drawn carriage, and relatives dance around him to the dhol. In north India the procession stops every few metres for more dancing, and a baraat can easily take a couple of hours to cover a kilometre.

At the venue, the bride’s mother welcomes the groom with a tilak on his forehead and an aarti. Later, in many families, the bride’s sisters and cousins play joota chupai: they hide the groom’s shoes and demand money for their return. The bargaining is part of the fun, and the groom is expected to pay something.

The main wedding ceremony under the mandap

The ceremony takes place under a mandap, a decorated canopy on four pillars with the sacred fire in the centre. The priest sits by the fire, the couple sit near him, and close family gather around. The order of rites varies by region and community, but these are the parts most people will recognise.

Kanyadaan. The bride’s father places her hand in the groom’s, formally giving her into his care. For many families this is the most emotional moment of the day.

Mangal pheras. The couple walk around the fire, four or seven times depending on the tradition, taking a vow with each round. The bride’s dupatta or saree end is usually knotted to the groom’s scarf for this.

Saptapadi. The seven steps taken together. Each is linked to a shared aim of married life: nourishment, strength, prosperity, family, children, health and lifelong friendship. In some regions the pheras and saptapadi are combined; in others they are separate rites.

Mangalsutra and sindoor. The groom ties the mangalsutra, a sacred necklace usually strung with black beads, around the bride’s neck, and puts sindoor (red vermilion) in the parting of her hair. In many communities these are the signs a married woman wears every day afterwards.

The vidaai: saying goodbye

The vidaai closes the wedding. The bride says goodbye to her parents and leaves for her husband’s home. In many north Indian families she throws handfuls of rice over her shoulder towards her parents’ house as she goes, a wish that the home she is leaving stays prosperous. Even guests who barely know the family tend to find this part hard to watch with dry eyes.

How weddings differ across India’s regions

Punjab. Punjabi weddings are known for their size: a long sangeet, a loud baraat and a lot of food. Many Punjabi Hindu families hold a chooda ceremony, where the bride’s maternal uncle gives her a set of red and white bangles.

South India. Tamil, Telugu, Kannada and Malayali weddings are often held at temples or wedding halls, frequently in the morning at an auspicious time (muhurtham). The ceremony is usually shorter than in the north and closely timed. The mangalsutra is called the thali or mangalyam, with designs that differ by community, and a Kanjeevaram silk saree is the standard choice for the bride.

Bengal. Bengali weddings include the gaye holud, a turmeric ceremony held in both homes. At the wedding the bride often hides her face behind betel leaves until the shubho drishti, the first look between the couple. Fish appears throughout the wedding meals.

Maharashtra. Marathi weddings tend to be simpler and shorter, and the main ceremony can be over in about two hours. The bride traditionally wears a nauvari, the nine-yard saree draped in the Maharashtrian style, and a string of pearls or a forehead ornament called the mundavalya is tied for both bride and groom.

Rajasthan. Rajasthani weddings have a royal flavour, and a baraat may include camels, elephants and folk musicians. The bride wears a heavy ghagra choli with layers of traditional jewellery.

Weddings in other faiths

About one in five Indians follows a faith other than Hinduism, so a good share of Indian weddings look quite different.

Muslim weddings centre on the nikah, a marriage contract agreed and signed in front of witnesses, usually conducted by a qazi. The groom gives the bride mehr, a marriage gift that is hers to keep. Mehendi, feasting and family gatherings surround the nikah much as they do at Hindu weddings.

Sikh weddings are called anand karaj, “the ceremony of bliss”. The couple walk around the Guru Granth Sahib four times while the four laavan hymns are sung. There is no priest in the Hindu sense, and the ceremony is usually held in the morning at a gurdwara.

Christian weddings follow the church service familiar from elsewhere, often with added family customs drawn from local culture, particularly in Goa, Kerala and the north-east.

Why does an Indian wedding last so many days?

Foreign guests often ask this. The usual answer is that the wedding joins two families as much as two people, and the separate ceremonies give relatives on both sides time to eat, dance and argue together before they become one extended family. Practical reasons matter too. Relatives travel long distances, auspicious dates cluster in the wedding season (roughly November to February in much of the north), and each side has its own rites to perform at home.

If you are invited as a guest, ask which events you are expected at. Being asked to the mehendi or sangeet usually means the family counts you as close, and it is fine to ask the hosts what colours or clothes they would like guests to wear. Our guide to traditional Indian clothing explains the difference between a lehenga, a sherwani and the regional sarees mentioned above.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do Indian weddings have to be religious?

No. Court marriages are legally valid and are increasingly common, especially in cities. Many couples hold a traditional ceremony and also register the marriage for legal records.

What should a guest wear to an Indian wedding?

Bright Indian clothes such as a saree, lehenga, kurta or sherwani are always safe. Many guests avoid plain white and all-black outfits, and the hosts will usually tell you if there is a colour theme for any event.